Pitching our tents

My phone has this wonderful app that has daily readings and devotions. I discovered that on it is one of my favorites, Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest. This week I was particularly struck by his words on worship, something I have been longing for more of in my life and something I find I have lost touch with also. The scripture reference was from Genesis 12: 8 where Abram is traveling yet stops to build an alter of worship to God between Bethel and Ai.

We have to pitch our tents where we shall always have quiet times with God, however, noisy our times with the world may be. There are not three stages in spiritual life - worship, waiting and work..God's idea is that the three should go together. They were always together in the life of Our Lord. He was unhasting and unresting. It is a discipline, we cannot get into it all at once.

Mr. Chambers defines worship as the giving of our best to God. These offerings are really a giving back of what God has first given to you. And He has given me so much. How often do I truly give Him my best? Am I disciplined to worship Him throughout my day in my working, resting, and play? No, I am weak willed and selfish. In the busyness of life, I work. Truth be told, I don't know who gets my best. Most likely, no one. Without God as my center and core, I have no best to give. God certainly is not getting my all. In fact, too often I do not even credit Him with all that He has given me. No wonder I have lost touch with what it is to worship. I have pitched my tent in Ai, the world, and I have forgotten what it is like to have pitched my tent in Bethel, sweet communion with God. Like Abram, I need to learn to worship God in the living of life. I must take captive every thought, I must honor God with the work of my hands, and I must include my Father in the joys of my resting and playing too. Worship is a lifestyle, not a solitary act. 

I have been convicted of late that I do need to make time with my Savior a priority. My husband cannot lead me alone. My church is not responsible for my growth. My devotions with the children are not sufficient. God desires me. All of me. My best. He wants to lead me, He will teach me, if only I will come to Him.

Father, forgive my pride. I have taken on my role as mother, teacher, wife and worn those roles as a badge. I have organized and planned in my need for control and forgotten to follow my Shepherd. Instead of trusting you, I have trusted my plan. I have pitched my tent in the world and I desperately long for communion with You. I miss the the guidance of your Spirit, hearing Your gentle voice calling to me and teaching me. I want to be awakened and challenged by Your powerful, living Word. I cannot teach or guide our children alone. The responsibilities you have given me are such a wondrous gift and yet I have not kept You sacred in my heart while I bear them. Awaken my soul. Refresh my spirit. Renew my mind. Help me grow in discipline and grace. Open my heart and my life to true worship in spirit and in Truth. I long for You. Give me a greater hunger for You. Thank you for washing me clean through Christ and giving me Life abundant.