The months previous were fairly quiet, and in that time God was allowing me to marinate in His Word and in His presence. It took me a while to take it all in. In fact, to be honest, I still am soaking it up, but I've had some aha moments too.
About a month ago, late February, I was given the opportunity to get away for a weekend sans kids and husband. It was a glorious time of quiet reflection. In that time I was able to finally rest in Him. My soul in its struggle to release my fears and truly trust in my Heavenly Father found its reward that weekend, a sweet communion with Him. Since then, life has not granted me such quiet moments of reflection, but God had filled up my tank to carry me through the busy days.
Here is what I know now after months of being pruned in God's garden.
His Word is most certainly alive. Though written hundreds of years ago, there Truth is unwavering and still applicable today.
God does speak to His children, not in an audible voice, but clearly nonetheless.
God always answers our prayers. It is when we are humble and in constant communion with Him that we actually see His hand at work and recognize that His answers don't always come packaged as we expected.
God cares about the details, even the ones we think are insignificant.
There is a boundless joy and peace in walking in His ways.
See the thing is, I hadn't lived these things and experienced them in the recent past because I wasn't all in. I believed in God, I lived a decent life, but I wasn't all in. I was coasting, uncommitted.
Jim Elliot once wrote,
"Wherever you are, be all there.
Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God."
"Wherever you are, be all there.
Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God."
I wasn't all in because I didn't know God well enough to trust Him, I didn't seek Him enough to discern His will, and I didn't understand His ways enough to walk in them. I was lost and didn't even know it. I couldn't "be all there" because I didn't know where "there" even was.
Funny isn't it?
A relationship with God is a journey. On that journey you learn a lot about yourself, but mostly you learn about God. He is the goal of the journey. Not the answers to prayer, not an easy life, not anything we are taught to expect by the world. Knowing God is the most rewarding, joy-filled, amazing experience I've ever been given. And I rejoice that it is a journey I can continue for the rest of my days.
And now I can say with confidence that I am all in.
Funny isn't it?
A relationship with God is a journey. On that journey you learn a lot about yourself, but mostly you learn about God. He is the goal of the journey. Not the answers to prayer, not an easy life, not anything we are taught to expect by the world. Knowing God is the most rewarding, joy-filled, amazing experience I've ever been given. And I rejoice that it is a journey I can continue for the rest of my days.
And now I can say with confidence that I am all in.
