Marinade

Abiding in Christ is a beautiful picture of relationship and love and dwelling that has always drawn me. The language of abiding in scripture lures me in to God. The idea of hunkering down inside of God’s love and glory and character astounds me. Can I really do this? He wants me to do this? Oh, yes. But as much as this idea of  ‘abiding’ sparks hope in my heart, I find too often I just don’t know what it looks like in real life. I’m a visual person. I want to see what abiding looks like in the everyday busyness of life.  Of course, the gospel writers paint a very beautiful picture of Christ abiding in the Father and His call to us to do the same. And still I struggle. 

Today I realized something amazing. Abiding is something I talk about a lot. I love the word “marinate”. I use it a lot. Ask my friends and family. And most of the time I’m not referring to food when I say it. When I say I want ‘to marinate’ in something, I’m referring to my deep and heartfelt longing to absorb every last morsel of goodness from an experience or idea or person. That is the very idea of marinating, isn’t it? We marinate food so that the wonderful scents and flavors of the marinade penetrate the very fibers of the food transforming it into something savory and wonderful. 

 

God is calling us to marinate in Him. With every thought, word, action, and moment of my day, God wants me to be marinating in Truth and Love and Light so that during my lifetime I will more and more look and sound and act like my Savior. So much so, that when others observe my life they will taste and see that the Lord is good. God will have penetrated my fibers so completely that the very heart and soul of me will be transformed into something savory and wonderful and God-like. 

So, maybe I do understand abiding a bit better than I thought.

Discouragement

Raising three children, teaching them God's ways and educating them in academics, managing our home, volunteering at church, visiting with friends, caring for a growing number of pets, making time for appointments, spending time with my wonderful husband, cooking dinner, running children around to lessons and practices, squeezing time in for a little rest. Deep breath.

It's an absolutely wonderful life. I love it with ever fiber of my being. Lately, though I've felt the weight of responsibility, the crush of time, and the weariness of a woman not lingering at her Father's feet.

I began looking through a book I recently purchased for the startling amount of one single dollar. The first pages encouraged the readers to analyze the 'why' of what we do as women. In particular she referred to why we want a clean house. So, I started my list...

...I want to be able to welcome others over at a moment's notice - hospitality.
...A well organized and clean home is warm and inviting - peace & simplicity.
...I want to be a good steward of what we have been given - stewardship.
...God has given me this work and blessed it - calling & design.
...When my home is put together, I feel free to enjoy my sweet family - joy.

As I looked at the list and the labels I gave each item, my heart rested on Proverbs 31. There is something bigger going on here than a clean house. Who I am in Christ touches on every aspect of my life. When I am abiding in Him, dwelling in His presence, listening to the Spirit, rejoicing in every trial and blessing, and seeking Him the why of everything I do is to glorify Him.

Today I really needed to be reminded of that bigger view of life. It just simply is not about me at all. The moment I lose sight of that, I've lost sight of God.

Father, as I clean my house, love my husband, teach our children, work, laugh, and play, help me to glorify You. When I feel weary and worn out, help me to cast my eyes upon the author and finisher of my faith and glorify You. On the days when everything is hard, give me joy in You and show me how to glorify You. On the days when everything is laughter and sunshine, may I give you the glory. Teach me to love You with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength so that in all things You will be glorified. Amen

Pitching our tents

My phone has this wonderful app that has daily readings and devotions. I discovered that on it is one of my favorites, Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest. This week I was particularly struck by his words on worship, something I have been longing for more of in my life and something I find I have lost touch with also. The scripture reference was from Genesis 12: 8 where Abram is traveling yet stops to build an alter of worship to God between Bethel and Ai.

We have to pitch our tents where we shall always have quiet times with God, however, noisy our times with the world may be. There are not three stages in spiritual life - worship, waiting and work..God's idea is that the three should go together. They were always together in the life of Our Lord. He was unhasting and unresting. It is a discipline, we cannot get into it all at once.

Mr. Chambers defines worship as the giving of our best to God. These offerings are really a giving back of what God has first given to you. And He has given me so much. How often do I truly give Him my best? Am I disciplined to worship Him throughout my day in my working, resting, and play? No, I am weak willed and selfish. In the busyness of life, I work. Truth be told, I don't know who gets my best. Most likely, no one. Without God as my center and core, I have no best to give. God certainly is not getting my all. In fact, too often I do not even credit Him with all that He has given me. No wonder I have lost touch with what it is to worship. I have pitched my tent in Ai, the world, and I have forgotten what it is like to have pitched my tent in Bethel, sweet communion with God. Like Abram, I need to learn to worship God in the living of life. I must take captive every thought, I must honor God with the work of my hands, and I must include my Father in the joys of my resting and playing too. Worship is a lifestyle, not a solitary act. 

I have been convicted of late that I do need to make time with my Savior a priority. My husband cannot lead me alone. My church is not responsible for my growth. My devotions with the children are not sufficient. God desires me. All of me. My best. He wants to lead me, He will teach me, if only I will come to Him.

Father, forgive my pride. I have taken on my role as mother, teacher, wife and worn those roles as a badge. I have organized and planned in my need for control and forgotten to follow my Shepherd. Instead of trusting you, I have trusted my plan. I have pitched my tent in the world and I desperately long for communion with You. I miss the the guidance of your Spirit, hearing Your gentle voice calling to me and teaching me. I want to be awakened and challenged by Your powerful, living Word. I cannot teach or guide our children alone. The responsibilities you have given me are such a wondrous gift and yet I have not kept You sacred in my heart while I bear them. Awaken my soul. Refresh my spirit. Renew my mind. Help me grow in discipline and grace. Open my heart and my life to true worship in spirit and in Truth. I long for You. Give me a greater hunger for You. Thank you for washing me clean through Christ and giving me Life abundant.

Sunday Rest

I am so tired today. It is a tiredness that makes me want to cry at the thought of trying to do anything productive today. My mind even hurts. This weariness, as desperate as it sounds, came only from the routine of living. Nothing dire has occurred. No major crisis is upon us. Life, so wonderful and full of joy, exhausts me at times. Our world today constantly advises us to push harder, work longer, play with greater verve. We strive in our jobs, we stay busy at home, our schedules fill up, and we even wear ourselves out with recreation. So, when do we rest? Where is the refreshment and joyful refilling of our ever draining tanks?

This week I was wonderfully inspired while reading the words of Anna Botsford Comstock in her Handbook of Nature Study.

Yes, catch up with more cares, more worries, more fatigue, 

but not with more growth, more strength, more vigor, 

and more courage for work....

Out in this, God's beautiful world, 

there is everything waiting to heal lacerated nerves, 

to strengthen tired muscles, 

to please and content the soul that is torn to shreds with duty and care.

God knows our desperate need for rest. He even commands us to keep the Sabbath day holy. In the past I understood this to mean only that we revere the Sabbath as a day of worship. This is true, but recently I have understood this command in a new light. We are most able to worship when our eyes are not on ourselves. In our constant busyness and routine lives, all too often our eyes are solely focused on the task at hand. This is wearisome work. We need rest. We need refreshment. We need God. 

Sunday is a day of worhsip. Sunday is a day of rest.It turns our souls and minds to God, the Overseer of our souls.

Go for a walk in the woods. Grab a glass of water and sit in your favorite chair and do nothing. Take a nap. Read a good book. Pray. In turn, the world will be put in perspective and the presence of God will be made known. Rest in Him.

Psalm 51: Broken

I love the Psalms. No matter how many times I've read and reread them, I always walk away with something new to challenge or refresh. Today Psalm 51 was the primary subject in my daily reading from the devotional classic Streams in the Desert. The author was focusing on verse 17, "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and a contrite heart." God uses broken things. How true. Later in the New Testament, Paul reminds us that "God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, that no flesh should glory in His presence." (I Cor. 1: 28-29)

Pride does not belong in the Christian life, but it comes so naturally to us. Brokenness, humility, and dependence are difficult pills to swallow. Yet God's Word is full of promises for His children who embrace them. The beginning of Matthew chapter 5 is an example of such promises. And today in Psalm 51 I was given even more insight into this matter of brokenness. We are born into iniquity, sin. We are born broken. And yet, despite that fact, God desires relationship with us. He longs to make us whole again. This is not always an easy process. Take verse 8, for example. "Make me to hear joy and gladness, that the bones which You have broken may rejoice." I will confess that this verse is difficult for me to comprehend, yet I know its Truth. God, at times, does have to break us in order to heal us. Our stubborn pride and sin harden us to His love and forgiveness. In such a state we cannot hear or understand the joy of God.

Through pain, we are brought to a place of healing. But when we are in the place of pain, often we ask, "Why?" Verses 12 and 13 of Psalm 51 offer one answer.
          Restore to me the Joy of Your salvation,
          And uphold me with Your generous Spirit.
          Then I will teach transgressors Your ways,
          And sinners shall be converted to You.
God's work in our lives, however painful at times, affects others for Him. When we are restored to joy and healed in our spirits, others see the hand of God. The hope of salvation and the light of Truth shine forth and lead others to God.

So, what does this mean in real life? It means that I have had difficulties in my life. I have railed and screamed and wept. My heart has broken, and there have been times when darkness swept over me like a cloak. I have walked, sometimes limped, my way through those valleys to discover that the gentle hand of my Shepherd was ever at my back guiding me. He never left my side, and when I emerged from the darkness, the light of His love shone on my face and healed the bruises. I carry the scars, but more importantly, my soul has been knit even tighter to the one who washed the wounds and carried me through. Joy was restored to me, and He has always upheld me with His generous Spirit.

The difficult times never cease, but God is ever faithful. And through it all, my prayer is...
       Create in me a clean heart, O God, 
        and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Meditation and Relationship

Meditation does not come naturally to me. I think that is why it is called a spiritual discipline; it requires a diligent commitment to a course of action. And yet, this week while reading and thinking on this topic, I gained some clarity and a different way of viewing meditation. Joyce Hugget makes this statement in this book, Spiritual Classics edited by Foster and Griffin.

"Christian meditation has nothing to do with emptying our minds.
Christian meditation engages every part of us -
our mind, our emotions, our imagination, our creativity, and, supremely, our will."

Choosing to meditate means choosing to fill yourself with and becoming intimately attached to the object of your meditation. Meditation (or prayer, as some call it) is pursuing a relationship with God. Simple enough, right? What I've noticed in my own life is that meditation connects truth to life. It gives a clarity to my thinking and refocuses my attention. My heart become engaged in living and excited about pursuing my Savior. It helps me clear my mind of the things that weigh it down and lifts my spirit out of this world. Scripture becomes ingrained.

I've notice that since I've been reading the Bible on a more daily basis my mind and heart have been eager for more, like my appetite has been whetted. I am more engaged in the spiritual aspect of my life, which oddly enough, makes the earthly me much more content with life.

Maybe meditation isn't so hard after all.

"We bask in the warmth of his love. We feel his gaze on us. He fills us afresh with his Spirit. We receive a new perspective on life - his perspective. We draw so close to his heart that we sense his concern for the world, and from our contemplation flows intercession as we catch his compassion for a hurting world."
Joyce Huggett

Jesus calls us to this sweet communion in John 15. Over and over again He tells us, "Abide in Me" and later "Abide in my love." Meditation is a call to intimate relationship with the God of all Creation. It is a call to love and be loved. All of a sudden I don't see meditation as so difficult anymore, I see it as a rich blessing. A gift.

No Other Gods

Some friends and I started a long distance book club. The first book we are reading, entitled No Other Gods by Kelly Minter, has struck a cord with me. She has a very conversational writing style that is personal and not so preachy. You know she understands what she is writing about because she has experienced it too.

I'm only in chapter two, but as I read it last night and listened to my sweet husband snore softly, I felt God tugging on my spirit. "Who or what do you worship? What treasure is stored up in your heart?" Hmmmm. Not so easy to answer if I'm honest with myself. Sure, I'm a Christian, so this should be easy, no? The trouble is that how our faith plays out in real life, not on paper, can often look different. How I spend my time, what I think about, the words that I speak, the interests that I pursue, and the relationships in my life are the real indicators of my heart priorities. Is God apart of my everyday life, even the details? Today, honestly, I don't feel very holy. I'm tired, my back hurts, my children's needs are wearing on my strength, and my housework is a long line of 'to do's' that will never end. Nothing in all that feels spiritual. I don't feel spiritual. How does worship fit into this life? How does spiritual treasure influence the life of a woman stuck in this world? I work on this everyday. It isn't easy.

One of the verses she referenced in passing struck me.

"And do not become idolaters as were some of them.
As it is written, 'The people sat down to eat and drink and rose up to play.'" I Cor. 10:7

I had to go back to Exodus 32 to see the big picture because with only this verse you might ask, is it idolatry to play and enjoy life? Of course, the answer is no. But that is not what was happening. The Israelites has constructed golden idols to worship instead of God and were essentially partying at the feet of the idols. Worshiping the idols and pursuing all things related had consumed the thoughts, hearts, and actions of the people. There was no room for their powerful, sovereign God in their lives.

And so it happens to us, to me.

Worship God. Serve God. You cannot have one without the other. In my everyday, unholy-feeling life I must worship and serve God. How? Today I don't have answers that fall out in practical terms, but I have the Truth and to that I will cling. Abide.

"For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Luke 12:34

My house is a mess, I haven't showered yet today, my kids and husband need me, my head hurts, and all I want to do is curl up and take a nap. In the midst of all this, I know my greatest longing right now is to be known and loved by my Heavenly Father. And so I will abide in Him.

God Laughs

Call the wild, strike the strings
Bagpipes blare in the open field.
Child run wild, praise the Lord!
This is what life is for.
Flowers bow, sun beats down,
Rivers flow,Creation knows
It's time to dance and God laughs.
10.96

Faith like a child

I've had two thoughts tumbling around in my heart and mind lately.

Abide. Dwelling in the presence of the Almighty. Taking shelter under His wings. Choosing to linger in His Truth.

Faith like a child. A love that isn't complicated. A trust that is unwavering.

I feel God pulling me toward Him. I know He wants me to deepen my understanding, but sometimes I'm slow. Fortunately, I have children. It is amazing how God uses my two sweet young ones to teach me. At their preschool, they learn weekly Bible verses. Last week my youngest came home every day and held up one finger for each word as she smilingly quoted, "Do not be afraid, God is with you!" And when she said the word "you" she pointed at me and grinned triumphantly. So, cute. But that wasn't the end of it. At the playground later in the week we were pretending to sail on a pirate ship and my son kept beckoning for my daughter and I to jump into the shark water with him. Of course, I pretended to be quite afraid to do this. She reached over and patted my leg and said quietly, "Don't worry, Mommy. Do not be afraid, God is with you." So,with no more protestations, I proceeded to jump into the shark water. It was as simple as that.

Somehow, though, faith doesn't seem that simple to us grown-ups. We question. We thrash. We resist. Releasing the control of our lives to God requires a humility and trust we struggle to obtain. Yet, He still beckons to us. "Come."

I reread a passage in Acts 27 the other day. If you ever have time, read it. Here is the nutshell. Paul is a prisoner being transported by ship to another location. Paul warns the crew and guards that there is trouble ahead, but they continue on and things don't go so well. Finally Paul addresses them (verses 21-26) with a bit of a rebuke then, "And now I urge you to take heart, for there will be no loss of life among you, but only of the ship...Therefore take heart, men, for I believe God that it will be just as it was told me." And then here is the clincher. "However, we must run aground on a certain island."

Paul trusted the faithfulness and power of God. He believed. His faith was strong and unwavering even in the face of certain difficulty. They would be shipwrecked, but God would spare their lives. Why do we think the Christian life will always go smoothly? Life in this world will be filled with trials. So, what is so different about the Christian life? The answer is Hope. Paul's hope, and the hope of all those on the ship, resided in God's ability to do what He said He would do.

And so, I return to my original thought. Faith like a child. A child is unmarred by the insecurities, fears, and distractions that interfere with trusting an Almighty God who loves them with no end. They cling to that love and trust the Giver of it. As adults, we too must cling to God with an unwavering faith knowing that even though we will, on occasion, run aground, He will see us through it. Therein lies our Hope.

In the days ahead, I choose to abide in the love and power of the One who sees what lies ahead and promises to walk me through it all.