Belief versus Faith

This past week I was studying the difference between belief and faith. For me it was eye-opening, and with Easter around the corner, I thought it perfect timing. Here is a bit of what I learned...

I've believed in God for as long as I can remember, but that is not faith. Faith is something infinitely deeper and more intimate. It says in James 2: 19 that the demons believe, but do they have faith? No. Everyone believes something or believes in something. But what is faith?

I was struck by one paragraph in the study this week, probably because it spoke directly to where I was at the moment. It's truth resonates. This is from the book Live a Praying Life by Jennifer Kennedy Dean.

If you find yourself shifting back and forth between confidence and anxiety,if you find that your mind and emotions can never fully be at rest,probably you have strong belief, but have not moved on to faith. You cannot get faith from any source except God Himself. Get to know the Promiser for yourself, and it will be easy to trust His promises. Give Him every opportunity to prove Himself strong in your behalf. Let Him take responsibility for moving you on to faith. Rest in Him.

This is the crux of the matter to me. Faith is a confidence in the character of God and the Truth of His Word. It requires a relationship with the Almighty and an awareness of His Presence in my life. I can have faith in Him because I KNOW Him. I have experienced Him and I trust Him. You see belief is a shaky business; it can change with the wind and does not have a foundation. But faith is rock solid and built on Truth. And when God speaks, I can obey in faith because I have confidence in who He is.

Later in the study, the author makes this distinction.

Faith in its active form is called "obedience."
Faith in its spoken form is called "prayer."

Faith puts action to belief. It is the heart and mind of the matter. Belief penetrates your mind. Faith penetrates your mind, heart, soul, and body. It becomes the way you live. And prayer is the relational aspect of faith. Faith is rooted in Someone.

I've always loved Hebrews 11. It is such an inspiring and challenging treatise on faith. Here is part of it...

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. for by it the elders obtained a good testimony. By faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible.

By faith Able offered to God...
By faith Enoch was translated...

But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he sho comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.

By faith Noah, being divinely warned of things not yet seen,
moved with godly fear and perpared an ark...
By faith Abraham obeyed...
By faith he (Abraham) sojourned...)
By faith Sarah herself also received strength to conceive and bore a child...
By faith Issac blessed Jacob and Esau...
By faith Jacob blessed his sons and worshipped...
By faith....

The list goes on and on. By faith, God's people acted on His word. This passage is chock full of verbs. All these people had relationships with God, firsthand experience, and the relationship gave scope and purpose to their lives. Hope. They chose to walk a life directed by God in faith.

I understand with greater clarity now why my life looks so different when I am walking by faith instead of just belief in God. God calls His people to hear His voice and respond in faith. Obedience. Is it easy? No. Is it worth it? Yes. DoI always obey and listen with faith? Certainly not. But when I do, the difference in my life, my mind, and my soul is significant.

You will show me the path of life;
In Your presence is fullness of joy;
At your right hand are pleasures forevermore.
Psalm 16:11

So, this Easter as I celebrate the resurrection of Christ and the gift of life He has given me, I will have faith in the one, true living God with whom I can daily interact. This is the gift of Easter, a relationship with the Almighty God of the universe. My faith rests in Him and I am full of joy.

All In

Since my last post life has been super busy, but I've learned a lot.

The months previous were fairly quiet, and in that time God was allowing me to marinate in His Word and in His presence. It took me a while to take it all in. In fact, to be honest, I still am soaking it up, but I've had some aha moments too.

About a month ago, late February, I was given the opportunity to get away for a weekend sans kids and husband. It was a glorious time of quiet reflection. In that time I was able to finally rest in Him. My soul in its struggle to release my fears and truly trust in my Heavenly Father found its reward that weekend, a sweet communion with Him. Since then, life has not granted me such quiet moments of reflection, but God had filled up my tank to carry me through the busy days.

Here is what I know now after months of being pruned in God's garden.

His Word is most certainly alive. Though written hundreds of years ago, there Truth is unwavering and still applicable today.

God does speak to His children, not in an audible voice, but clearly nonetheless.

God always answers our prayers. It is when we are humble and in constant communion with Him that we actually see His hand at work and recognize that His answers don't always come packaged as we expected.

God cares about the details, even the ones we think are insignificant.

There is a boundless joy and peace in walking in His ways.

See the thing is, I hadn't lived these things and experienced them in the recent past because I wasn't all in. I believed in God, I lived a decent life, but I wasn't all in. I was coasting, uncommitted.

Jim Elliot once wrote,
"Wherever you are, be all there.
Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God."

I wasn't all in because I didn't know God well enough to trust Him, I didn't seek Him enough to discern His will, and I didn't understand His ways enough to walk in them. I was lost and didn't even know it. I couldn't "be all there" because I didn't know where "there" even was.

Funny isn't it?

A relationship with God is a journey. On that journey you learn a lot about yourself, but mostly you learn about God. He is the goal of the journey. Not the answers to prayer, not an easy life, not anything we are taught to expect by the world. Knowing God is the most rewarding, joy-filled, amazing experience I've ever been given. And I rejoice that it is a journey I can continue for the rest of my days.

And now I can say with confidence that I am all in.

My Exceeding Joy

It has been over a week since I last posted. This is not because I have nothing to say or have not learned anything new; it is because the thoughts in my head are so loud and the reflections of my heart so plentiful that I can barely put into words all that God is teaching me these days. The process is glorious and painful and full of insight. And as of yet, I'm not sure I can eloquently put into words my thoughts.

As I flipped through one of my old journals today, I found an entry that seemed to capture the cry of my heart these days. While I seem to be at a loss for words at the moment, I had the words years ago.

So, here it is...

"Tell me what you long for and I'll tell you who you are."
~James Hillman~

O God, my exceeding joy and delight,
Help me to see you above the fear in my path
To remember that change in direction is not tragic,
Yet forgetting the passion you've placed in my life may be.
Capturing your beauty and truth is light.
O God give me courage to see you in me
And believe I can become what you designed me to be.

I must confess that God has not been my exceeding joy or delight for much of the past year. I've been too caught up in myself, unfortunately. Of course, this was not a conscience choice; it was a gradual and progressive blindness. I suppose that is why my reawakening is so glorious and painful. I'm seeing with new eyes. What I see of God takes my breath away, what I see of myself is excruciatingly painful. During this process I've had one main prayer...

Psalm 25: 4-5
Show me Your ways, O Lord;
Teach me Your paths.
Lead me in Your truth and teach me.
For You are the God of my salvation;
On You I wait all the day.

In praying this and applying it to my everyday decisions, I made a wretched discovery about myself. I wanted to walk in God's ways, but I was actually too afraid to do so. My prayer from years ago is still the true cry of my heart, but I've been stuck on line two and I didn't even realize it until today. I've been afraid. Afraid of what, you ask?

His ways would challenge me beyond my ability.
The way He chose would require me to step out of my blanket of comfort.
I wouldn't be in control.

And the list goes on with even more ridiculous fears. Although, I think the last reason was my biggest one and within it lies the crux of the matter, a lack of faith in God. I say these fears are ridiculous because if I truly believe God is who He says He is, then He is worthy of all my faith and trust. My fear is a lie meant to keep me from really knowing God's goodness and power.

So, I've been examening my heart and seeking God. Last week I reread Psalm 23 and realized I've taken the message for granted. This past week I've dwelled on it. I've wrapped myself up in its Truth and let it seep into my soul.

The Shepherd provides generously and consistenly.
The Shedpherd protects rigorously.
He leads with compassion and wisdom.

Why? Because He loves.

All of a sudden my fears felt small and insignificant and God was very big and powerful and capable. I began to understand. So today I read the first two verses of Psalm 25, the psalm I've been praying for weeks now. These verses made all the other thoughts and ponderings of my heart congeal and take root in my hungry soul.

To You, O Lord, I lift up my soul.
O my God, I trust in You...

Simple. Beautiful. True. God loves me, therefore I put my trust in Him. Much like the sheep who trust and follow their shepherd with unswerving devotion, I must trust and follow God. That must be there before He can show me His ways, teach me His paths, or lead me in His Truth. There is no reason or room for fear. What is left is a joy that endures and a hope that resonates in my soul.

Inescapable

When God has something for me to learn, He is relentless and creative in His pursuit. Circumstances and books and friends have all converged on my heart and mind with the same message, pray. For months now I have been coasting through life with reckless and abandon, quite happy with my quiet life and simple pursuits. Since November, I haven't been able to coast. I'm all shook up and nothing is simple or quiet. In fact, I'm sure I cried more in January than I cried all of last year. And I'm not a crier. It's not even that life is so hard or that things are going badly. It's more a matter of the heart and mind. When you are coasting, you aren't really driving things so much as riding along as the scenery passes you by. Now I'm having to actually drive, make decisions, live my life with intention, and I feel utterly unprepared and ill equipped. I am more aware of the finer details of my life as they are piling up and my need for Divine guidance. My mind is open and alert, my heart submissive and ready, my soul eager. I feel so vulnerable. So small.

I'm learning a lot. And as I learn I find I have even more questions. Growth, at times, is painful. What I'm stuck on at the moment is this, God is in the details. (If you aren't sure about that, read the last chapters of Exodus as God instructs Moses on building the tabernacle, the ark of the covenant, and the priesthood. Reading the Old Testament is very interesting!) He's got them covered, and I just need to trust Him with the outcome. Prayer is not about the details and making God aware of what's going on in my life and how much I need His intervention. It's not about getting answers to my questions and requests. Prayer is about discovering my all powerful, most holy, completely loving God and learning to see His mighty hand at work in this world.

The thing is that it just isn't about me.

Imagine that.

God has my attention and it is inescapable. Sometimes I coast and drift through life because it's easier than remembering that there is much more to this life than my own simple circumstances. Sometimes I get swallowed up in the details of living and think that that is the important stuff. God is calling me to something deeper, something bigger, something with much more purpose and meaning. He is calling me to Him, and He is calling me to prayer.

On Sunday as I gazed out of the window of my plane as it winged it's way back to Texas I found myself in a beautiful, breath stealing world of clouds. Large, bountiful, mysterious lands of white. Below were these tiny dots of land and movement and shadows. The sun blazed on the wing of the plane and outlined the clouds in brilliance. Words abandoned my mind and I felt a lightness in my spirit. For the millionth time in a month, tears came to my eyes.

God did this.

The wonder of it stole away my worries, my pain, my hurt, my time, my words, and my details. All that was left was God in His infinite glory. What was left was prayer, sweet communion with my Creator as He let me see Him.

Inescapable.

I'm so glad it's not about me.

Problem Solving

I like to problem solve; it makes me feel productive and valuable. Listening, for me, is an area of constant growth. People stereotype the man in the marriage as the one who hears his wife and just wants to offer ways to fix it, the wife listens with compassion. Oddly enough, in our marriage, it is often the other way around. But I'm learning.

The thing is I find myself doing the same thing with God. Too often in the past I prayed to talk out MY solutions to life, not listen to His heart. Truth is I don't much like my solutions and when I use them, I often end up in a pickle. (Sometimes, it's an entire jar of pickles.) Then, I'm just weary, frustrated, and confused. God, where are you? Only, He hasn't gone anywhere, I've just moved on without Him.

As I've gotten older, I find that the confidence and the recklessness of youth has faded, and I am much more willing to ask for help and I am learning to listen. The more I know about life, the more I realize I don't know. It's humbling. But the more I realize my imperfections and ineptitude, the more I realize God's incredible strength. He is my everything, and He is enough.

In thinking about prayer this week and about my relationship with God, I've realized that true communion with God requires that I be vulnerable, humble, and well, quiet.

I was reading this week about Moses and the Israelite people as they fled Egypt. One verse captured my attention and I haven't been able to quit thinking about it. Here it is in two translations.

"The Lord will fight for you while you keep silent."
"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still."
Exodus 14:14

I can imagine the fear and desperation the people were feeling. They have witnessed the plagues on the Egyptians as God provided a way out of slavery for them. Now they are free, but Pharaoh has changed his mind and all of Egypt's army is on their tail. In front of them is a massive body of water, impassable. Behind them, death and slavery. Where are you now, God? What do we DO?

I hate that feeling. Worry, anxiety, fear. That sinking pit of dread that hits you at times when your circumstances are completely out of your control. How to pray then? What to DO?

In this case, the answer was simple. Keep silent. Be still. In other words, don't DO anything except TRUST God.
Even when you are afraid.
Even when you are vulnerable.
Even when your hope is flagging.
Even when the world is falling apart around you.
Even then, trust.

So did God fight for them? Yes, He most certainly did. God's power is limitless. His love is eternal. His forgiveness complete. Our circumstances change, but God doesn't. Our circumstances confound us, but not God. We feel trapped by our choices, God frees us.

I'm learning that being vulnerable with God and not having all the answers is really the best place to be after all. In His infinite mercy, God delights in loving His weary, broken, and tired people. He wants to be my Champion and Defender and Protector and Guide. So, I will...

Trust in the Lord with all my heart
and lean not on my own understanding.
In all my ways, I will acknowledge Him,
and He will make my paths straight.
Proverbs 3: 5-6

God is a much better problem solver than I am. To my utter relief, I gladly relinquish that role.