Meditation and Relationship

Meditation does not come naturally to me. I think that is why it is called a spiritual discipline; it requires a diligent commitment to a course of action. And yet, this week while reading and thinking on this topic, I gained some clarity and a different way of viewing meditation. Joyce Hugget makes this statement in this book, Spiritual Classics edited by Foster and Griffin.

"Christian meditation has nothing to do with emptying our minds.
Christian meditation engages every part of us -
our mind, our emotions, our imagination, our creativity, and, supremely, our will."

Choosing to meditate means choosing to fill yourself with and becoming intimately attached to the object of your meditation. Meditation (or prayer, as some call it) is pursuing a relationship with God. Simple enough, right? What I've noticed in my own life is that meditation connects truth to life. It gives a clarity to my thinking and refocuses my attention. My heart become engaged in living and excited about pursuing my Savior. It helps me clear my mind of the things that weigh it down and lifts my spirit out of this world. Scripture becomes ingrained.

I've notice that since I've been reading the Bible on a more daily basis my mind and heart have been eager for more, like my appetite has been whetted. I am more engaged in the spiritual aspect of my life, which oddly enough, makes the earthly me much more content with life.

Maybe meditation isn't so hard after all.

"We bask in the warmth of his love. We feel his gaze on us. He fills us afresh with his Spirit. We receive a new perspective on life - his perspective. We draw so close to his heart that we sense his concern for the world, and from our contemplation flows intercession as we catch his compassion for a hurting world."
Joyce Huggett

Jesus calls us to this sweet communion in John 15. Over and over again He tells us, "Abide in Me" and later "Abide in my love." Meditation is a call to intimate relationship with the God of all Creation. It is a call to love and be loved. All of a sudden I don't see meditation as so difficult anymore, I see it as a rich blessing. A gift.

Meditate

I recently started reading and discussing with a friend a book about the twelve spiritual disciplines. I have to confess my ignorance when I began the book. If asked, I could not have listed these disciplines and certainly didn't know there were twelve. They are even divided into subgroups. As much as I love making lists, this was one I had little awareness of. If you are in that boat with me, here they are as listed in the book.

Inward Disciplines:
Meditation
Prayer
Fasting
Study

Outward Disciplines:
Simplicity
Solitude
Submission
Service

Corporate Disciplines:
Confession
Worship
Guidance
Celebration

What I love about the book is that it is selected writings of Christians authors and thinkers for the past two thousand years. Wow. The lives, experiences, and collective wisdom represented is a bit staggering.

For the next few weeks we are talking about meditation. I am a very reflective person and love having time to think and process life. Keeping a journal has always been a part of my life, but I don't think I am so good at meditating. (Although with young children, the journaling has fallen to the wayside a bit too.) Meditations requires a quiet composure and stillness that seems to elude me these days.

As silly as it may sound, I've often thought of meditating and marinating as similar activities. Taking the time to meditate on a truth works much like allowing spices to marinate, flavor, and tenderize meat. (Like I said, it may sound silly, but stick with me.) The truth must be given time to sink into your soul and resonate with your spirit. As it does, truth influences your thoughts, and your thoughts influence your actions. All of a sudden, your life is flavored by the time you spent meditating and by what you spent time meditating on.

Truly, I long for this kind of spice in my life, but often I am too busy? distracted? undisciplined? scared? to sit down with my Savior in the quietness of my soul and seek the Truth.

This week I was challenged by Thomas More...

To be content to be solitary,
Not to long for worldly company
Little and little utterly to cast off the world,
And rid my mind of all the business thereof.

Did I say challenge? Indeed. We do not live in a culture that applauds solitude and stillness, and yet that is the very cry of our souls. We are parched by our busyness, we are wearied by our schedules, and we are dying for something meaningful to pierce our meager existence. And yet we fill our free moments with junk food. Well, at least, I know I do at times. And those times I actually try to be still, my mind is a jumble of thoughts or I simply fall to sleep. Sigh.

So, what to do? I was also challenged by Jeremiah 17 : 5-10. Read the whole passage and note the contrast he offers. I'll only quote part of it here, the part that struck me to the core. (The bold is my emphasis, not the writer's.)

Blessed are those who trust in the Lord,
Whose trust is in the Lord.
They shall be like a tree planted by water,
sending out its roots by the stream.
It shall not fear when heat comes,
and its leaves shall stay green,
in the year of drought, it is not anxious,
and it does not cease to bear fruit.

Can't you picture it? A giant, strong, healthy tree by a stream. Lush, green, shady, fruitful. I want to be that tree. Full of trust in the Lord. Deep healthy roots, a strong foundation in Christ. Able to weather life's difficult season's with grace. Peaceful, not anxious. Full of life.

Roots don't form overnight. Strong roots take years and good soil. Again, sigh. Instant gratification this is not. This is work and commitment and discipline. So, how is this rest? God knows our needs and our weaknesses. He understands what it's like to live here, to struggle with flesh and spirit. He knows we need time with Him in order to have relationship, to form our roots. And He knows how easily we get distracted. He knows we need rest and He knows how hard it is for us to find it. There are plenty of scriptures that talk about this, but here is one of my favorites.

Psalm 46:10
Cease striving (be still) and know that I am God.

Somebody down the line in history put meditation on a list of spiritual disciplines, but it wasn't their idea. It was God's design for us from Creation. He rested on the seventh day and set an example for us, not because He wanted us to check meditation off on a to do list, but because He knows how our souls, minds, bodies, and spirits need the rest. He knows that we must choose to do it. Rest. Meditate. Be still.

Mary sat at Jesus' feet and was still. She knew that He was God. She meditated on His goodness. At times I do this, but most of the time I'm still Martha in the kitchen striving. I want to experience life spiced with meditation and knowing God in that stillness of your soul where only He can see. I want to love deeply. I want deep, well watered roots.

Old Story, New Thoughts

So, with the new year I am yet again attempting to make it through the Bible in a year. You would think this wouldn't be so hard, but every time I get bogged down in begets and minor prophets. This time I am setting monthly goals instead of one gigantic unattainable yearly goal. Halfway through January and I'm doing pretty good. In fact, I am loving it. Genesis is so intriguing. I don't know when God-fearing people starting getting pegged as pious, judgmental, conservative, boring folks, but it wasn't during the time before Christ. (And just for the record, Christians are NOT pious, judgmental, conservative, boring folks as a rule, that's a bad rap. O.k., maybe conservative isn't such a bad thing...) Anyway, I digress.

From the time Adam and Eve made their fateful choice, we've been going downhill as a race. Sin is an infectious disease, and we are fooling ourselves to think otherwise. God saved Noah and his family when He wiped out the earth and started fresh, but the remaining folks were still sinful. They showed their true colors in short order. The Tower of Babel, lying, homosexuality, deception, wars, jealousy, mistresses fighting with wives, rape, pillaging, etc. Ouch, we are a bona fide mess.

In Sunday School we focus on the pillars of the faith and their great character because we want our children to have faith like Abraham, the wisdom and courage of Joseph, and the blessings of Jacob. But in doing this, we lose the point of it all.

It is not these people we are to model our lives after, it is the God of these people who should be our focus.

Abraham made major mistakes, the line of Christ came through Joseph's very faulty and sometimes sneaky brother Judah, and Jacob betrayed his brother and couldn't keep his family life peaceful for all the strife between his wives and mistresses.

When I see these people as pillars of the faith, something to strive for, I feel inadequate and daunted by the task. I don't know that I could spend years building a boat in a land for a flood that seems impossible surrounded by people who taunt me mercilessly. I don't know that I could be willing to sacrifice my child or continue having faith in a God who asked me to. I'm not sure I'd be as faithful and forgiving as Joseph when he was so clearly wronged by his family.

But that is not the whole story.

These people were very much human. They had weaknesses, hesitations, fears, anger, and well, sin. In pondering these people as they really were I felt a kinship with them for the first time in a long time. And I realized with brilliant clarity how awesome and powerful and loving our God truly is. He called these people because He loved them and wanted to use them for something greater than themselves, His Kingdom, not because they were capable, wonderful, perfect people. Through their weakness, God's strength is evident. That gives me hope. I don't have to be a pillar of faith; I just have to be His.

Since that moment that Adam and Eve began this long spiral downhill, God has been faithfully and powerfully creating the most wonderful story of redemption and love. And the story isn't over; He is still involved in our lives today. For that and so much more, I am eternally thankful.

Fear and Worship

Irrational fears can surface at the strangest times and overcome you. They are strange to say the least because they are, well, irrational. Last night I was sharing one of my such fears with my husband. Due to some circumstances in my life at the moment, I found myself confronting a very real, but very irrational fear that bubbled to the surface. I wanted reassurance and comfort from my dear husband. What I got was him confessing that he understood because he is deathly afraid of giant ostriches attacking him with their tiny beaks and pecking him to death. Ha, ha. He couldn't even deliver this little gem of humor without totally cracking up with man-sized belly laughs. I didn't find his attempt at rerouting my thoughts so funny last night, but today I see his point. Irrational fears are ridiculous. More than anything they reveal our weaknesses, insecurities, and anxieties.

Today between my many chores, I took a break to read some Psalms and I was struck by this Truth. Worship trumps fears. When I worship God, there is no room in my heart or mind for fears based in this world. They slide away into an abyss. In the void that is left, God's abundant love and joy fill me up.

Psalm 100
Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth. Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs. Know that the Lord is God. It is he who made us, and we are his; we are his people, the sheep of his pasture...the Lord is good and his love endures forever; his faithfulness continues through all generations.

As I soaked this in, I realized how small and insignificant my fears really are compared to the awesome greatness of my Creator. A Creator who desires intimate relationship with me. A Creator who longs to love and protect me like a shepherd watches over his sheep.And when I focus my attention on Him, I have no room in my life for fear of anything other than him, and that is not irrational. It is respectful and true and right.

And so today I am soaking in His promises and Truth. I will let the Scripture speak for itself, and I will worship instead of fear.

Psalm 103: 1-5
Praise the Lord, O my soul; all my inmost being praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits - who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

A Word Picture

We are all hungry for something and seek to be satiated. And by this, of course, I am speaking of our souls and spirits. Approval, pleasure, significance, security, success, forgiveness, love. But what is our source of sustenance?

Two very contrasting passages arrested my attention today while studying a different topic. Here they are...

1.Speaking of the Israelites after they were delivered from the Egyptians and were wandering in the desert, David says in Psalm 106: 13-15,

They soon forgot His works; They did not wait for His counsel,but lusted exceedingly in the wilderness, and tested God in the desert. And He gave them their request, but sent leanness into their soul.

It is the last statement that sends conviction and fear shooting straight through my heart. I have felt leanness in my soul before and it is shallow and painful and leaves me aching. The picture here is quite clear. The people of Israel made the choice to ignore God and push ahead with their own agenda. In doing so, they "lusted" after other gods and challenged the Almighty God's authority. And what was His response? He gave them what they wanted. The consequence was a lean and hungry soul. This is not a picture of peace and joy and fulfillment. This is not a picture of communion and intimate relationship. This is a picture of a willful child enduring the consequences of their poor choices. Ouch.

2. And now David offers us this refreshing picture from Psalm 37: 3-5 and part of 7.

Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart...rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him...

Simply reading these words refreshes my spirit and gives me hope. The picture here is one of peace and joy and fulfillment. This is a picture of sweet communion and intimate relationship. The end result of committing to this road is a satisfied, nourished soul. Rest.

So, why do I so often travel the desert road with the people of Israel? I do not desire a leanness of soul, but by my actions, by pursuing lesser things, that is what I'm telling God. I think too often I am afraid of where God will lead me, not because I have any reason not to trust Him, but because my faith is weak. The pull of the world is strong and ever present. It is here and now and loud and colorful. It is immediate.

Today I was startled by a theme I saw in several scripture passages. It is repeated in part of Psalm 37 - "wait patiently for Him." Wow. God delivered the people of Israel from Egypt, but things were not immediately easy or clear for them. Instead of waiting for God who promised to be there for them, they moved ahead without Him. That's what I do too. Maybe I'm impatient. Maybe I'm afraid of not knowing what lies ahead. Maybe I don't like being still and quiet. Maybe I need to trust God's leading a little more and "dwell" with Him a little longer and "feed on his faithfulness" instead of my insecurities.

When God asks us to delight in Him, He is not being arrogant. He knows we hunger, and he knows what will nourish us. Him. He designed us for relationship with Him, so it only makes sense that the greatest desires of our heart would be fulfilled by our Creator. Anything else will bring a leanness to our souls.

This is a word picture that will stay with me a long time: a leanness in the desert or satisfied delight in the land of God.