Marinade

Abiding in Christ is a beautiful picture of relationship and love and dwelling that has always drawn me. The language of abiding in scripture lures me in to God. The idea of hunkering down inside of God’s love and glory and character astounds me. Can I really do this? He wants me to do this? Oh, yes. But as much as this idea of  ‘abiding’ sparks hope in my heart, I find too often I just don’t know what it looks like in real life. I’m a visual person. I want to see what abiding looks like in the everyday busyness of life.  Of course, the gospel writers paint a very beautiful picture of Christ abiding in the Father and His call to us to do the same. And still I struggle. 

Today I realized something amazing. Abiding is something I talk about a lot. I love the word “marinate”. I use it a lot. Ask my friends and family. And most of the time I’m not referring to food when I say it. When I say I want ‘to marinate’ in something, I’m referring to my deep and heartfelt longing to absorb every last morsel of goodness from an experience or idea or person. That is the very idea of marinating, isn’t it? We marinate food so that the wonderful scents and flavors of the marinade penetrate the very fibers of the food transforming it into something savory and wonderful. 

 

God is calling us to marinate in Him. With every thought, word, action, and moment of my day, God wants me to be marinating in Truth and Love and Light so that during my lifetime I will more and more look and sound and act like my Savior. So much so, that when others observe my life they will taste and see that the Lord is good. God will have penetrated my fibers so completely that the very heart and soul of me will be transformed into something savory and wonderful and God-like. 

So, maybe I do understand abiding a bit better than I thought.

Discouragement

Raising three children, teaching them God's ways and educating them in academics, managing our home, volunteering at church, visiting with friends, caring for a growing number of pets, making time for appointments, spending time with my wonderful husband, cooking dinner, running children around to lessons and practices, squeezing time in for a little rest. Deep breath.

It's an absolutely wonderful life. I love it with ever fiber of my being. Lately, though I've felt the weight of responsibility, the crush of time, and the weariness of a woman not lingering at her Father's feet.

I began looking through a book I recently purchased for the startling amount of one single dollar. The first pages encouraged the readers to analyze the 'why' of what we do as women. In particular she referred to why we want a clean house. So, I started my list...

...I want to be able to welcome others over at a moment's notice - hospitality.
...A well organized and clean home is warm and inviting - peace & simplicity.
...I want to be a good steward of what we have been given - stewardship.
...God has given me this work and blessed it - calling & design.
...When my home is put together, I feel free to enjoy my sweet family - joy.

As I looked at the list and the labels I gave each item, my heart rested on Proverbs 31. There is something bigger going on here than a clean house. Who I am in Christ touches on every aspect of my life. When I am abiding in Him, dwelling in His presence, listening to the Spirit, rejoicing in every trial and blessing, and seeking Him the why of everything I do is to glorify Him.

Today I really needed to be reminded of that bigger view of life. It just simply is not about me at all. The moment I lose sight of that, I've lost sight of God.

Father, as I clean my house, love my husband, teach our children, work, laugh, and play, help me to glorify You. When I feel weary and worn out, help me to cast my eyes upon the author and finisher of my faith and glorify You. On the days when everything is hard, give me joy in You and show me how to glorify You. On the days when everything is laughter and sunshine, may I give you the glory. Teach me to love You with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength so that in all things You will be glorified. Amen

The deep things of God

My mind is fuzzy. I have a hard time concentrating. If I don't write it down, it doesn't get bought or accomplished. And when I go to pray, my thoughts meander and drift and ramble aimlessly about in my soul. Today as I was praying I asked God for help. I miss Him but I feel gripped by this haze of worldly duty. Longing for the spiritual, I feel controlled by the flesh. What's up?

Very quickly, God directed me to I Corinthians 2. In a flash, I realized that my problem is one that resides in habitual thought. My mind has been redeemed by God through Christ's blood, but I have been living as if my mind is my own. First Corinthians 2: 16 states that I have the mind of Christ. The mind of Christ!

What have I been feeding my mind? Am I taking my thought captive unto Christ?

There is no barrier between me and my Savior. However, Satan has been very effective lately at distracting me. Can I blame him? No. I must confess my weakness before my Lord and then walk worthy of the calling for which He has called me. I am redeemed!

"Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, 

but the Spirit who is from God that we might know 

the things that have been freely given to us by God."

I Corinthians 2: 12

And what are those things? They are the deep things of God. Amen!

Pitching our tents

My phone has this wonderful app that has daily readings and devotions. I discovered that on it is one of my favorites, Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest. This week I was particularly struck by his words on worship, something I have been longing for more of in my life and something I find I have lost touch with also. The scripture reference was from Genesis 12: 8 where Abram is traveling yet stops to build an alter of worship to God between Bethel and Ai.

We have to pitch our tents where we shall always have quiet times with God, however, noisy our times with the world may be. There are not three stages in spiritual life - worship, waiting and work..God's idea is that the three should go together. They were always together in the life of Our Lord. He was unhasting and unresting. It is a discipline, we cannot get into it all at once.

Mr. Chambers defines worship as the giving of our best to God. These offerings are really a giving back of what God has first given to you. And He has given me so much. How often do I truly give Him my best? Am I disciplined to worship Him throughout my day in my working, resting, and play? No, I am weak willed and selfish. In the busyness of life, I work. Truth be told, I don't know who gets my best. Most likely, no one. Without God as my center and core, I have no best to give. God certainly is not getting my all. In fact, too often I do not even credit Him with all that He has given me. No wonder I have lost touch with what it is to worship. I have pitched my tent in Ai, the world, and I have forgotten what it is like to have pitched my tent in Bethel, sweet communion with God. Like Abram, I need to learn to worship God in the living of life. I must take captive every thought, I must honor God with the work of my hands, and I must include my Father in the joys of my resting and playing too. Worship is a lifestyle, not a solitary act. 

I have been convicted of late that I do need to make time with my Savior a priority. My husband cannot lead me alone. My church is not responsible for my growth. My devotions with the children are not sufficient. God desires me. All of me. My best. He wants to lead me, He will teach me, if only I will come to Him.

Father, forgive my pride. I have taken on my role as mother, teacher, wife and worn those roles as a badge. I have organized and planned in my need for control and forgotten to follow my Shepherd. Instead of trusting you, I have trusted my plan. I have pitched my tent in the world and I desperately long for communion with You. I miss the the guidance of your Spirit, hearing Your gentle voice calling to me and teaching me. I want to be awakened and challenged by Your powerful, living Word. I cannot teach or guide our children alone. The responsibilities you have given me are such a wondrous gift and yet I have not kept You sacred in my heart while I bear them. Awaken my soul. Refresh my spirit. Renew my mind. Help me grow in discipline and grace. Open my heart and my life to true worship in spirit and in Truth. I long for You. Give me a greater hunger for You. Thank you for washing me clean through Christ and giving me Life abundant.

Who He Is

I love fresh starts. A clean page in a journal. (I prefer unlined paper. It appeals to my imagination.) A budding friendship. Moving to an city that is unfamiliar to you. The dawn of the day. A new year.

I wish there was a pause, though, between what was and what will be. My life does not support it much any more, but taking time for introspection, reflection, and meditation is important to me. Life is full of busy and the next thing on the list or schedule that we sometimes forget to actually take a breath. A heavenly perspective is a challenge to maintain, and those pauses help me turn my heart heavenward to hear God's voice in the midst of a very loud world. So very loud.

This time as the past year conceded to the next one, I found myself frantically reorganizing my house from Christmas travels, hastily repacking the holiday decorations, and finalizing my plans for the coming month of homeschool. When Sunday arrived, a day of rest, I simply could not find peace. My mind was buzzing with thoughts, and I felt restless. I desperately needed a pause. Luckily, my husband helped my sit and savor the day, to laugh with our children, and let go. My plans and lists would wait for me.

In those moments of rest, I realized my frantic state was my attempt to gain control of life and tame it. This, I fear, is not possible. Life cannot be tamed. No amount of cleaning out, organizing, or list making will  make me more ready to face what, I'm certain, will charge at me with amazing speed in the future. I will not seeing it coming, good or bad. Yes, this is a fresh start, but the start of what I do not know. Oswald Chambers said it best.

Have you been asking God what He is going to do?

He will never tell you.

God does not tell you what He is going to do;

He reveals to you Who He is."

So, as 2011 begins, I have myself a fresh start and a prayer that in all things this year, no matter what may come, God will reveal to me who He is and in that revealing I may live my untamed life for His glory.